It’s How He Looks at You

I think a defining turning point in my relationship with God came when I recognized how He looks at me. For much of my life, God was the one who gave me rules to follow. Those Ten Commandments were there to memorize and live my life by as a young girl and even into young adulthood. I knew God would be disappointed if I did not follow them. If I broke a rule, then I was the one not living up to my expectations. Then those thoughts slowly and sneakily turned into, Could I ever live up to God’s expectations? (Just what the evil one wants us to believe.) And even further…what’s the point? It’s inevitable that I will mess up. It’s hard to always walk a straight path toward the Lord. Should I keep trying?

It was really a somber relationship. I mean, where is the Hope when you feel like you’re regularly fumbling to do the right thing? Maybe your relationship with God has had moments or periods of time with similar thoughts and feelings.

But that’s not how He looks at you or me. God does have rules, but just like any loving parent, the rules are there because He loves us. We know this because of God’s divine timing: He gave the Ten Commandments to the people of Israel after He had saved them from Pharaoh in the land of Egypt. He didn’t give them rules before He redeemed them or before He showed His commitment for their safety. God’s rules came after He had shown the depths of His love for Israel (today’s first reading, Exodus 20:1-17).

God sees us differently than we see ourselves. I can prove it! He created us, so He knows who we are. Jesus reminds us, “But even the hairs of your head are all numbered” (Matthew 10:30). We often forget that we were made in God’s image and likeness, and we sell ourselves short. If you haven’t recently, I urge you to look into the eyes of Christ. Maybe it’s looking at a statue of Him, or at a picture in a book you have. Maybe you try to put yourself into a story from one of the Gospels or an episode of “The Chosen” and try to look into Jesus’ eyes. Maybe you take time to gaze at Jesus in the Eucharist during Adoration. As you do that, sit and be still. “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). He will gaze back at you like you are His beloved creation. And He just desires for you to gaze back.

It’s how He looks at you. This was a hard lesson for me to learn. May you always know that God’s watchful eyes are on you, and He desires you to know Him and be known by Him.