“I am a Christian”

I recently saw this newspaper clipping and it struck something in me. Please read:

I think sometimes people think that because we are  Christians that we are somehow better than those who are not. Or the idea that non-Catholics have that we (Catholics) go to church on Saturday or Sunday, confess our sins, and then aren't Christlike throughout the week, and that it is ok. Well I think this article perfectly explains what being a Christian is. 

For me personally, it isn't about being better than anyone. It is truly the idea that I am so lost and so broken that I can't only rely on myself to fix my life or my situation. It is the fact that Jesus died for our sins. For mine and He still loves me as his daughter. I struggle with the practice of my faith more than I don't. I am a very emotional, strong willed woman. I am also a fixer. I love helping people. My troubles come when I can't fix or help in the way that I think I should be able to. Recently my daughter said to me, "Mom, you are really good at helping others and trying to solve their problems. Why don't you take your own advice?" Ouch. She is not wrong, but she's only 14, and I kind of thought I knew more than her. This conversation was in relation to moving on and living in the present. I feel like I do this, but Trinity pointed out to me that when things get hard in my life I resort to my old ways. I get irritable, sarcastic, and not at all Christlike. That is my description not hers - she was much more kind. 

I know what I need to do, but for whatever reason, I often hesitate to put that into action. I can talk the talk, but I don't always walk the walk. This is a giant issue for me. I feel like I have redeeming qualities I can offer people in my life like: my honesty, my trust, my love, my friendship. I can offer these things because I know they are the best parts of me. However if you are a friend of mine or someone I love, then you also know that with those positive qualities comes my negative ones. Lately I have been focusing only my negatives. What I have come to realize this summer, particularly in the last couple weeks is that I can't fix my kids’ problems, even though I desperately wish I could. I can't fix much in their lives to be honest. 

The only thing I can do is show them how to be a Christian. That is truly the most important quality about me that I have to give to them. I think my hesitation is that I fail every day. My stubbornness is a blessing every day because it is what helps me get up and keep trying. I am a work in progress. I promise God and myself every day that I will try to lead with my Christianity first in my life. I hope that you all can continue to pray for me to keep working and living like Christ. If you have a scripture verse that motivates you, please share it with me. I am looking for ways to continue to keep Jesus first in my life, especially on the hard days.