Landslides

There are certain songs that seem to mean something different as we get older. “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac is one of those songs for me. When I was younger, I heard a song about change and growing older. Now, I hear something a little different, more like a reminder that life doesn't always stay the way we thought it would.

People change. Relationships change. Our children grow up. We experience things we never expected. Sometimes the ground beneath us shifts, and we have no choice but to adjust. But as I read this Sunday's Gospel, I found myself thinking about another kind of letting go.

This time, it isn't about letting go of what is changing around us. It is about letting go of what we are carrying inside us. In Matthew's Gospel, Peter asks Jesus, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him?” Peter wants a number. A limit. He wants to know how many times he is expected to forgive someone who hurts him.
Jesus' answer is essentially: Stop counting. This is the hard part at least for me.

And then Jesus tells the story of a servant who is forgiven an enormous debt but refuses to forgive a much smaller debt owed to him. That part of the Gospel makes me uncomfortable because I can recognize myself in it. How often do I ask God to forgive me while holding tightly to something someone else did to me? How often do I want God's mercy for myself but struggle to offer that same mercy to someone who hurt me?

Forgiveness is hard. Sometimes it is hard because we think forgiving means saying that what happened was okay. It doesn't. Sometimes we think forgiving means forgetting. Nope that isn’t it.  And sometimes we think forgiving means allowing someone to hurt us again. Definitely not.

Forgiveness can simply mean deciding that I don't want to carry the anger, resentment, or hurt anymore. Maybe that is where I hear “Landslide” differently now.

There are things in life we cannot control. We can't stop people from changing. We can't undo what has happened. We can't go back and make certain moments different, but we can decide what we carry forward.

Maybe that is what Jesus is asking us to think about this Sunday. What am I still holding onto that God is asking me to let go of? A hurt. An old argument. A grudge. Something someone said. Something someone did. Maybe even something I am still holding against myself.

“Landslide” reminds me that life will continue to change whether I am ready for it or not, but Sunday's Gospel reminds me that I don't have to carry everything with me when it does. Jesus asks me to forgive. Jesus asks me to show mercy. Jesus asks me to let go. And maybe the hardest part isn't the letting go. Maybe it is trusting God enough to believe that what He asks me to release, He can carry better than I ever could.

I pray that whatever hurt, anger, resentment, or issue is weighing you down, you can begin to let it go. Whatever your “landslide” may be, I pray you can trust God enough to hand it over to Him and allow Him to carry it for you.