Strength

Where do you get your strength from? I recently had someone question me why I try to treat people how I would like to be treated. First of all, I don't always treat others with complete selflessness. I try to, but I usually fail. Secondly, I'll be honest, I don't necessarily see that as an unusual behavior for people. I like to believe people are generally good and want good for others. 

My trigger for acting, thinking, or being unselfish is my kids. I just keep thinking I want them to grow up and be good people. I want them to love God, never give up, and be productive members of society. I want them to know the value of a good friend and the love of someone special. I want them to know that money is very useful, but it can't fix the really important things in life. 

I want them to know that not everything is always going to be easy, but everything is doable and worth it, even the pain... especially the pain. Each and every day I ask God to guide me and to help me be the best version of myself. I have good days, and I believe I am making a positive difference in this life. Then there are the days like today where we have had something every night this week, and I'm tired. I want to go to bed, but I have work to do here at home after the volleyball game, and I snapped on my son Peyton. He lives with me full time, and it is the first time in more than 7 years that we have seen each other every single day. It has been awesome. I love seeing him as an adult. But it has also been hard because I was used to being alone every other week. 

Tonight as soon as my words came out of my mouth, I regretted them. He knew the joke had gone too far and mom had enough. But I felt terrible. I overreacted and led with my bad attitude instead of holding my tongue, saying a quick prayer, or even just pausing a beat. As we continued the long drive home and the Christian radio station was on reminding me that our God is an awesome God, I took a deep breath, said a prayer, and told Peyton I was sorry. I know Peyton knows how hard I try to do the right thing, and I know he didn't think it was that big of a deal. I guess I knew I wouldn't want him to speak to me that way, so I turned to the one thing that has never, ever let me down. God. By the end of the car ride, he was humming along to Mercy Me, which always makes me smile. 

I pray that when you are in need of strength, you find it before you need to apologize. May you all continue to grow in your humanness and remember who you get your strength from. God bless.