The Approach
While he had no idea he was being a role model for me, one particular example set by my husband many years ago started me on the road to “getting over myself.”
Our children were junior high age and we had lots of opportunities in those days to interact with their friends and also high school age young people. At a parish gathering or sports event, for example, my husband would walk right up to a group of young men and just start talking with them. The first time I watched this happen, I cringed. I could see the eye rolls and negative body language from the guys. Mike was basically invading their space. But very quickly, he had them laughing and moving closer as he engaged them in conversation. What a revelation to me! First of all, I mentally changed my description of his actions from foolish to fearless! And secondly, I was reminded that people of all ages generally respond well to someone taking an interest in them. I wondered what was holding me back from being just as bold? Perhaps the difference in personality type? Or was I overly concerned about what others might think of me?
Very likely the latter was the issue. I began to see how limiting that mindset was. It limited my words and actions and also my interactions with others. I often kept people at arm’s length until I was certain my presence would be welcomed.
This was a big revelation on a journey that continues today: it’s not about me; focus on the other. In my spiritual journey this translates to “more of You, less of me.” In hindsight, I can now see how my worries about how others might perceive me carried over to my relationship with God. I thought I always had to have the right words and attitude before approaching him in prayer or petition. The timing should be “just right”. But no. He was always waiting there for me no matter what.
God will welcome us, warts and all. He wants us both at our best and in our worst and anytime in-between. And, as I eventually learned from my husband’s example those many years ago, we should approach our God with confidence.
