By Design
I was walking from the kitchen into the living room, and that’s when I saw it: my 2-year old son was pretending to be in battle and holding his hand in the shape of a pretend gun. I cringed thinking, “Where did I go wrong? How is it possible that my 2-year old is having fun by pretending to fire a gun?”
When my husband got home from work later that day, I told him what happened, and he looked at me like I had three heads. His reply was something like, “Do you want to know what my brother and I used to do growing up?” A few stories leaked out, and my worries were consoled that our young son’s actions on that day were normal.
Fast-forward our life through another baby boy and more years of pretend guns, light sabers galore, and airsoft guns, and I comfortably learned how little boys need to feed their innate desire to protect...to battle...to find an adventure.
In parallel, my daughter went through a lengthy period of time where her 3-year old daily fashion consisted of picking out which leggings to wear with which tutu. Her desire to dress up and feel beautiful didn't concern me like my son’s pretend hand-pistol. Why? Because I could relate to her desire to feel pretty, wear a little bling, and dress for a role that might lead to an adventure. (insert childhood daydreams of Wonder Woman for me.)
From a young age, we desire to act upon these innate roles as girls and as boys. Those same desires remain with us as we grow up and age. It is by design. When these desires are met, love flourishes. When these desires are not met, or are twisted out of natural order, then pain and hurt can result.
I was reminded of these roles recently as I started re-reading the book Captivating by John and Stacy Eldredge. I received the prompting to re-read that book while I was reading today’s Gospel. It recounts Jesus, Mary, and Joseph’s flight to Egypt as Joseph heeds the angel’s warnings of the dangers of Herod and the potential harm for his family. We do not read words that Joseph spoke, but we learn plenty about him from his actions. Joseph trusted and was obedient to the Lord, but he also desired to protect his wife and child. “Joseph rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed for Egypt.” Matthew 2:14. Joseph acted upon his desire to protect his family and chose to enter into what could be described as a battle to lead his holy family. His role as leader of the Holy Family is witnessed by his actions. Mary, in her role as wife and mother, desired to receive the love and protection of Joseph in the dark of night as she cared for the newborn king. There was no time for bling and beauty on that night, but Mary surely felt a role in this adventure, being loved and led by her husband who so assuredly heeded the angel. This one night and one adventure of the Holy Family reveals what each of us were made for…by design.
Jesus, the son of God, was born into a family with a father and a mother, by design. We entered life similarly, with the gift of a family. May the design of the Holy Family inspire each of us to play our role, in relation to one another. Holy Family, pray for us.