What Netflix Teaches Us
Do you remember when the summer TV offerings were all reruns? Many, but not all of you, remember the time before the internet existed - before streaming of TV series, movies, and sporting events was a thing. TV series would take a production hiatus between seasons, and that break for the viewers would fall during the summer months. I thought that summer TV was b-o-r-i-n-g. Watching old episodes again and again - ugh! I remember checking the TV Guide to read the brief description to see if the show was a good repeat or not. Most of the time, the episode wasn’t worth it, so I found something else to do in the summer.
This TV drought presented a great opportunity to figure out something to do! A break in the series meant a forced detachment from a favorite show. Yes, we had to wait months to find out if the chemistry between Sam and Diane would kindle a flame, or if Ross and Rachel would get back together. Could this summertime recess have been an effective means of teaching healthy detachment from material things and fostering patience until the next TV season? Maybe.
Along those lines, I have a friend who watches a favorite family show with her husband and children. They watch only one episode per week; thus, mimicking the weekly sitcom pattern. Yes, all the future episodes are right there, ready to queue up on a streaming service and watch one after the other, but Michelle and her husband teach their children the beauty of waiting, looking forward to the next episode, and arguably, self-control.
Now, do I stream TV shows? Yes. Do I watch movies from home? Yes - from the comforts of my couch! But those abilities make me think about how I don’t need much patience (I can watch shows on my timeline and without commercial interruption), as well as how my lack of self-control can suck away hours and hours. With so many conveniences at our finger-tips, how do we work on self-control?
Why would we want to work on self-control? Well, for a lot of reasons. Improved self-control can help us with time management, weight management, anger management, increasing patience with others, increasing peace and calmness, and building endurance, among others. I recently read one of the best reasons for working on self-control: the capacity to love.
Many of us would agree, to love is to will the good of the other. Maybe you’ve heard a Father Adam Cesarek homily that “Love is not a feeling; love is a choice.” Self-control and love for others are intertwined. “Love is the generous gift of self. But to give ourselves, we must first possess ourselves. We can give ourselves only to the extent that we possess ourselves.” (Matthew Kelly, The Rocking Chair Prophet, p. 131)
As I reflect on those words, I begin to think how small acts of self-control can have lasting impacts on our interactions with others. Small deeds can refine virtue in big ways within ourselves.
“Every act of disciplined self-control increases your capacity to love. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Listen patiently when you’d rather not. Help your younger brother even though it’s inconvenient. Smile joyfully at those who irritate you. Have a glass of water even though you are craving soda. Approach your work with discipline…Deny yourself in small ways so you can possess yourself completely. This is how you expand your capacity to love and be loved.” (Matthew Kelly, The Rocking Chair Prophet, p. 132-133)
Every intentional, small act of self-control could actually be building ourselves up to be more virtuous and loving people. If the season of Lent comes to mind, it’s for good reason. We intentionally give up and strive for self-control over meaningful things. We deny ourselves in small ways so that we can be ready to give and receive the best things that Jesus promises, such as the capacity to love and be loved.
Happy Father’s Day to all of our fathers, godfathers, and fatherly figures - many of whom exhibit self-control and the capacity to love in great ways.